About 5 groups were affected by this, and each group had around 20 items in their to-do list.  It wasn’t a SQL injection attack, the vandal  simply manually edited every item to say ‘eat penis’.  They weren’t entirely single-minded about it though – on every list, one of the items said ‘eat pussy’ instead.

I took a screenshot and emailed it to each group, then ran some queries on the database to update all the items to something innocuous.  Some of them were simply grateful that I’d let them know, while others were mortified about the situation and sent me emails profusely apologising and assuring me that they hadn’t done it.   However, almost as soon as I’d updated the databases, they were changed again.  Most of them put proper authentication on their site fairly soon, but not before someone else in the class had added their 2c to the situation:

As the sites were public, I had no way to really trace the culprit except to an Orcon IP address.  Since they hadn’t actually done anything really wrong, I had no cause for further action, although I did my best to embarrass them in class.  I have my suspicions who it was, but I’ll probably never know.  I consider it a useful lesson in the importance of security a website.

As well as the checklists, they also filled in a few of the website contact forms (of which most were copied or sent to me as the “company representative”):

Three groups still hadn’t got their authentication sorted by the time of the final presentations – they simply updated the data every time it was vandalised.  One group emailed me explaining that they’d been ‘attacked by the eat penis person’ and asking if it would affect their marks for the presentation (it didn’t – only their project mark).  Another noticed during the presentation that all their to-do items had been changed to eat penis, but apart from getting very red-faced, ignored it.

This time at least, the person seems to have had slightly more imagination:

This semester, I noticed while marking that one student had a couple of functions he was using for validation that didn’t really make sense.   He had one function called DateTime() which returned a date object representing the 1st of January 2059, and another function called Default() which returned a date object representing the 31st of December 1959.  This didn’t really meet the requirements and was a bit bizarre but most of the rest of the code was OK so I moved on.

Three projects later, I saw the exact same code.  Whenever I encounter duplicate code, I search everyone’s project for it, and found another two instances of the exact code.   After comparing the code, I found that one student (Student A) had everything pretty much right except for this unusual construct, but he had it actually working.  Two others (Students B & C) had the same functions but had called them incorrectly (and identically) and a large chunk of the related code was also identical.  The final student appeared to have an exact copy of student C’s code.  However, because his data model was slightly different, his project didn’t even run.

As is my usual practice, I called the students in to explain, their stories confirmed my analysis.  A had helped B with how to create dates for validation.  B and C had worked together/copied each other.  Their justification was that they thought this section was worth much so it wouldn’t matter (it was worth 20% of the assignment).  However, they had taken the time to slightly change the wording of some of the error message text in their otherwise identical code, suggesting an attempt to conceal their cheating.

Student D sent me an email in which is confessed his sins, saying how he “disgracefully cheated….. and have to face the penalty”.  It’s the most honest response I’ve ever had from a plagiariser.  Generally, I’m much more inclined to be lenient if they admit what they did and face the consequences.  The ones who try to somehow justify their actions and try to evade a penalty are the ones who annoy me. 

The university policy for first offences is clear – they lose the marks for the section of the assignment in which they plagiarised.  A, B & C lost 20% of the assignment this way, but managed to pass both the assignment and the course overall.  D lost 80% of the assignment, and not only failed the coursework, but also failed the exam and therefore the course.

Still, my favourite stupid plagiarist has to be the guy who was taking my course a second time, and handed in my own code as his answers to the lab work, complete with all my copious educational comments.  He didn’t even take the time to pretend it was his own work.   When I asked him why he did it, he seemed surprised and replied, ‘well, I wanted my solutions to be right’.

There are two or three who come more than once a day.  These are the very bottom students in my course.  One of them is a repeater from last year.  They come with the most basic questions about things that I have showed them and explained in class and that they have practiced in labs.   It’s pretty damning when in Week 11 of their second programming course, when told that in order to insert a record into the database they need to call the Insert method (something which is itself so blindingly obvious they shouldn’t need to be told), they reply ‘How do I call a method?’.   How can you get past the stage 1 course without knowing how to call a method?

There are several others who insist on doing things differently to the way I taught them.  One of the requirements is for a persistent to-do list, that users can log back into and update at any time.  A student implemented this by storing all the information in a cookie and then asked me if it was acceptable.   Excluding issues of cookie size, I explained that it didn’t really meet the persistence requirement, as the user could only retrieve their items if they logged in from the same browser on the same computer and if they didn’t have a plug-in that deleted cookies on logout.   She got a bit huffy at that and made a big production of saying how she’d have to go and re-implement everything based on the lab ‘on top of all the work I’ve already done’.

I also have students who are trying to take the easy way out but in the process are making things more difficult for themselves.  I told them they should use strongly typed DataSets for their database connections.  You can generate all of the SQL queries you need to connect to the database very easily.  Basic select, insert, update an delete are created for you, and you can modify these for other scenarios either by direct editing or using a query builder.  Then, most binding can be done without procedural code.  Things like inserting, deleting in code only require two lines of code.    However, quite a few of these students seemed to think this was too much effort, and decided to try and find the code on the internet. As a result I have students coming to see me with three screenfuls of code that is trying to load data from a database and create a grid, and they tell me they’ve spent hours getting it to work and it just doesn’t.   I ask them why they didn’t do it the way I showed them, and usually do it in front of them in about two minutes.  They mutter something about thinking it would be easier their way. 

I console myself with the fact that the majority of the class have actually figured out how to do it properly with little interaction with me.  The lectures & labs gave them all the tools they needed – they just had to apply it to a different situation. Most of them seem to have done that very well.  It’s just because I’m constantly interacting with the C students that I start despairing about either my teaching ability or the quality of the students (depending on the mood I’m in).

Student 1 calls his thread ‘Sup noobs’. Here is the exchange that ensued:

Student 1: Assignment zero weow!
Student 2: lol t3h n00bz0r is j00
Student 2: wewt
Student 1: stfu

The top row are the Steinmetz Pink, the Millenium Star and the Allnatt.  On the bottom row are the Heart of Eternity, the Pumpkin, the Moussaieff Red and the Ocean Dream.  Collectively, these diamonds weigh in at over 400 carats, and are worth well over US$100 million.

The students had to implement a Diamond business object, which had a weight property.  Here is one student’s implementation:

I wonder if those are baby carrots or full grown?  Cooked or raw?
 

Five days after the assignment was due, I receive this email:

Dear Mam,
I am sorry for late reply.
On 28/8/6 monday i was trying to submit my assignment on q: drive around 4 clock when my access was denied and I had emailed my assignment at your address but i got email from you which mentioned about webdropoff box.
If you can tell me how to access it I can submit my assignment again.
I would be thankfull if my assignment can be accepted.

With Regards

The reason why his "access was denied" was that he was trying to submit after the cutoff time.  He did email me that night, but of course, the exe caused it to get zapped by the uni email filter.  I replied telling him to immediately send it to be through the webdropoff box service (a large section of assignment 0 was devoted to getting them to understand how to use this).   If he’d sent it that night, I probably would have overlooked the late submission and marked it … but to wait five days?  Tough luck buddy.

If that wasn’t bad enough, two weeks after the assignment was due, a student came to see me with a medical certificate stating that she had a 5 day extension.  She confessed that she’d "maybe left it a little bit late" to come and see me.  Ya think?

I implemented something different.  Do I actually have to make it do what the specification says?

Ummm, YES!  Hello?  Just what do you think is the point of this entire course?

*Sigh*, I really wish I could actually say that to students instead of just thinking it.

I didnt attend Monday’s lecture due to a mid-term test <—my bad, just wonder what did we learn on Monday?

This course doesn’t have classes on Monday. 

It’s no wonder that this student’s very next post is titled: lost at the beginning

The assignment was due at 4pm yesterday, and during the day I received three requests for an extension.  Posted for your enjoyment below are the student’s requests and what I wish I could reply.

First request

Can I ask you a big favourite?  Can I get a one day extension, because I really want to hand in my FINAL proper and smoothed performed program (which would be much easier for you to mark and test as well)?  I’m not very happy with my code at the moment, and trying to figure out the best way to make it work smoothly without those low-level bugs…   At 11:21am

Yes, OF COURSE you can have a favourite.  There’s no reason why you should be obliged to complete your assignment within the same timeframe as the rest of the class.  And given the five weeks you’ve already had, I can easily understand why you haven’t managed to do it already.

Second request

I’m in your class, and can I ask for a extention for assignement one?
I think there are some problem with my work file, everytime I tried to open it, the Visual studio going no responce, and I’m getting so frustrated, maybe I need to do it again…

Maybe I can finishe it by end of tomorrow.   At 2:48pm

I took pity on this guy, figuring maybe his project had been corrupted so I asked him to send it to me so I could fix it for him.  As it turns out, there was no issue with his work file except that he hadn’t done any bloody work in it yet.

Third request

Can I request for a few hours extension- I will [submit] late tonight.  I will be able to finish a reasonable chunk of my assignment in these few hours, which at the moment is very much out of shape.  At 3:39pm!

How perfectly sensible of you to wait until 21 minutes before the deadline and then ask for extra time.  Obviously 5 weeks weren’t enough but 5 weeks and a few hours will be plenty.

Some people are naturally good.  They tell you a story.  When they speak, you feel as though they are having a conversation with you, even though there might be hundreds of other people in a room. 

Other people aren’t particularly naturally talented at speaking, but they avoid most of the major presentation sins and generally do a decent job.  They explain their points reasonably well, keep mostly to the topic and within the time constraints.  It’s not riveting stuff, but it’s enough to hold people’s attention.  Most competent lecturers fall into this category, which is where I’d like to think I am.

I’d guess about 5% of the speakers I’ve heard fall into the first category, and up to 45% into the second.  Sadly, that means that half of the presentations I’ve sat through were utter crap.

Here are some of the major presentations sins I’ve experienced:

Reading the slides.  Nothing on earth is more boring than a speaker just reading out the powerpoint slides.   Reading prepared notes that are a slightly expanded version of the slides is only marginally better, especially because the speaker usually ends up reading in a monotone.  It’s wooden and dull, and boring as hell.  The audience is so unstimulated that our attention just wanders off to other things, like counting the holes in the ceiling tiles.

Impenetrable voice.  Some people have a voice that is hard to understand.  It may be because of a heavy accent, gross overuse of umm and aah, grating vocal cords, or just because they mumble.  It requires huge mental effort for the audience to just follow the conversation, and unless we have a very compelling reason to do so, we just won’t.

Rambling.  Some speakers find it impossible to stick to the topic for more than 3 seconds at a time.  They inject personal anecdotes, reminisences or urban legends, or just let every random inane thought that passes through their brain escape out their mouth.  Sometimes we might find it interesting, but mostly it’s just a waste of everyone’s time, and us audience members are going to feel cheated.

Trying to cover too much.  Now, I can run anywhere between 8 and 30 slides an hour, depending on the exact nature of what I am presenting, but 30 slides an hour is my absolute limit.  I have been in presentations that were supposed to be 15 minutes long, where the presenter had over 40 slides.  Most people speak faster when they are nervous, but even allowing for that, some presenters try to race through about twice or three times the amount they can realistically cover.  This is especially bad when combined with the next sin.

Inability to stick to the time limit.  Bad speakers tend to speak too long about one aspect and run out of time for something else.
At one presentation I attended, a guy had 24 slides for a 10 minute presentation.  After 8 minutes, he was still on slide 4.  He was given his two-minute warning, and asked to just skip to the most important aspects (many slides away yet) but he continued going through the slide at the same laborious pace.  When his time was up, he was asked to wrap it up, but he continued at the same laborious pace.  Two minutes later, he was told he was over time and asked to finish, but he continued at the same laborious pace.  Finally, after he’d gone about 5 minutes over (and was still only on about slide 8 of 24), he was basically interrupted and shunted off the stage to make way for the next person.

The ability to respond to changing conditions and adjust the presentation on the fly, whether because of time limit, audience reaction, or some external change, is one of the things that really distinguishes a good presenter from a mediocre one.